Here's my issue I faced; I worked really hard studying Math, so because of that, I started to realised that I understand things better. However, that comes at a big cost: In the last few years, I had practically zero physical exercise, I've gained $30$ kg, I've spent countless hours studying at night, constantly had sleep deprivation, lost my social life, and developed health problems. My grades are quite good, but I feel as though I'm wasting my life.

I love mathematics when it's done my way, but that's hardly ever. I would very much like my career to be centered around mathematics (topology, algebra or something similar). I want to really understand things and I want the proofs to be done in a (reasonably) rigorous way. Before, I've been accused of being a formalist but I don't consider myself one at all. However, I admit that I am a perfectionist. For comparison, the answers of Theo, Arturo, Jim Belk, Mariano, etc. are absolutely rigorous enough for me. From my experience, $80$% or more mathematics in our school is done in a sketchy, "Hmm, probably true" kind of way (just like reading cooking recipes), which bugs the hell out of me. Most classmates adapt to it but, for some reason, I can't. I don't understand things unless I understand them (almost) completely. They learnt "how one should do things", but less often do they ask themselves WHY is this correct. I have two friend physicists, who have the exact same problem. One is at the doctorate level, constantly frustrated, while the other abandoned physics altogether after getting a diploma. Apart from one $8$, he had a perfect record, all are $10$s. He mentioned that he doesn't feel he understands physics well enough. From my experience, ALL his classmates understand less than he does, they just go with the flow and accept certain statements as true. Did you manage to study everything on time, AND sufficiently rigorous, that you were able to understand it?**

ADDITIONS:

Frequently, I tend to be the only one who find serious issues in the proofs, the formulations of theorems, and the worked out exercises at classes. Either everyone else understands everything, most or doesn't understand and doesn't care the possible issues. Often, do I find holes in the proofs and that hypotheses are missing in the theorem. When I present them to the professor, he says that I'm right, and mentioned I'm very precise. How is this precise, when the theorem doesn't hold in its current state? Are we even supposed to understand proofs? Are the proofs actually really just sketches? How on earth is one then supposed to be able to discover mathematical truths? Is the study of Mathematics just one big joke and you're not supposed to take it too seriously?

NOTE:

I have a bunch of sports I like and used to do. Furthermore, I had a perfectly good social life before, so you don't need to give advice regarding that. I don't socialize and do sport because digesting proofs and trying to understand the ideas behind it all eats up all my time. If I go hiking, it will take away $2$ days, one to actually walk + one to rest and regenerate. If I go train MMA, I won't be focused for the whole day. I can't just switch from boxing to diagram chasing in a moment. Also, I can't just study for half an hour. The way I study is: I open the book, search up what I already know but forgot from the previous day, and then go from theorem to theorem, from proof to proof, correcting mistakes, adding clarifications, etc. etc. To add on, I have a bad habit of having **difficulty starting** things. However when I do start, I start 'my engine', and I have **difficulty stopping**, especially if it's going good. That's why I unintentionally spend an hour or two before studying just doing the most irrelevant stuff, just to avoid study. This happens especially when I had more math than I can shove down my throat which I have, for mental preparations to begin studying. But, as my engine really starts and studying goes well (proven a lot, understood a lot), it's hard for me to stop, so I often stay late at night, up to 4 a.m., 5 a.m. & 6 a.m. When the day of the exam arrives, I don't go to sleep at all, and the **night and day are reversed**. I go to sleep at 13h and wake at 21h... I know it's not good but I can't seem to break this habit. If I'm useless through the whole day, I **feel a need (guilty conscience) to do at least something useful before I go to sleep**. I know this isn't supposed to happen if one loves mathematics. However, when it's 'forced upon you' what and how much and in what amount of time you have to study, you start being put off by math. Mathematics stops being enjoyment/fun and becomes hard work that just needs to be done.